Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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