if i can run in heels then i can drive
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Randomize
