ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Randomize
