haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
