she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
