She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
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