you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Randomize
