i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
