he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize
