i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Randomize
