thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
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