That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Randomize
