Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
