so explain again why im purple
no
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Randomize
