I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Randomize
