I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
