I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
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