No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Green mimosas i think yes
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
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