haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
