um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
