i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
