Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
