Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
