also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
