im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
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