You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
