Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
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