apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
