WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
