I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
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