Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
