I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
