Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
