he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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