so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Randomize
