i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
