is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
