Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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