saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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