I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
