I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
