he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
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