OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Randomize
