I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
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