fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
