So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Your dad touched me again.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
