I skipped work to stalk him.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
