Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
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