It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Randomize
