you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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