Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
Randomize
