Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Randomize
